Later, there was a period of time where he was by himself in the bedroom and I in the living room with only my insane thoughts swarming my mind. Whenever there is some sort of tension or heated discussion that results in me crying, I usually place blame and burden upon myself. It's unwarrented and quite ridiculous, but my emotions (when feeling down) tend to snowball into a huge, negative "I'm a horrible person who is driving my husband crazy and will eventually lose him because of my stupidity!!!" catastrophe. Except now I at least recognize what I am doing when in this stage, and eventually try to tell myself to stop these untrue thoughts, that I am not a horrible person, that Aaron loves me no matter what.
After said unpleasantness passed (as all things do), we had a very loving and intimate day today where we talked all evening and made a pact to spend more time together (not just being in the same room, but doing activities that really involve each other). I am glad that this came out of the ride I took through Emoland last night.
And this is just me putting out there that by no means am I where I'd like to be one day mentally, but there is progress. I still have my moments where my emotions freak out like anyone else. But I am also trying to practice mindfulness of these emotions that like to parade around as myself, but really just like to manipulate me into self-destructive actions. Not that all emotions do that, just the ones I have most trouble with.
Ah, the joys of learning :)