Tuesday, February 10, 2009

acts of encouragement

I had an okay day, but I arrived home feeling a bit blah, despite the awesome fact that I'm finally getting my coat dry-cleaned and relined. So I ate 4 small brownies and settled on guacamole & chips for dinner. Yeah, not quite healthy. Surfing the web was making my dull mind go around in circles, so I finally decided to stop and meditate.

The most common sense stuff is relayed to me when meditating a lot of times. This time it was, "Stop eating that junk, and start eating the right food." Not in a critical way, just in a nurturing "do some good for yourself" way. Our dining table has been covered in junk for a while now. The other day I envisioned it clean again, and eating a healthy breakfast there. While meditating I had the same vision. The bulk of the meditation focused on love and healing. Good, energizing stuff.

When it was over, I got up and started clearing our dining room table. I also put away the guacamole. Now I can sit there and at least drink a glass of milk with some toast there, instead of sitting on the couch eating nothing. After that, I offered Aaron a massage. My massages really help alleviate the pain in his back. I personally try to give him weekly massages, but I fall by the wayside every now and then. He eagerly accepted the offer.

Usually with Aaron, his shoulder muscles are what give him trouble. Over 90% of the time I focus on that area. But for whatever reason I wasn't moved to massage that area hardly at all this time. I mostly focused on his middle to lower back. A couple of times I moved up to the usual shoulder area just to see if anything came to me do to, but I never felt compelled to stay there, so I focused on his mid-lower back again.

After the massage I asked Aaron if it was his mid-lower back bothering him this time. He said it was, and that his shoulders were actually pretty fine this time.

Massages like this encourage me to not doubt going to massage school or get frightened that I'm making the wrong choice. Though I wonder if the only reason I have a certain intuition when massaging Aaron is because we are so close; that maybe with other people I won't feel that same intuition. But if that proves to be the case, at least I'll learn more massage skills that will help me help my husband's chronic back pain. I think that's worth it.

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