Thursday, February 5, 2009

i left my coat in bodega bay

Hen Hao!

Tuesday and Wednesday were interesting. I was so pissy and just down in the dumps at my job on Tuesday. I felt overwhelmed and contemplated coming into work on Saturday since I thought I wouldn't be able to finish something before next week. Then that evening I decided to meditate. It had been 3 days since I last had, and even longer before that. (Funny how meditation can be all you do morning and evening, then just as easily fall to the wayside & repeat.) I meditated again Wednesday morning (it had been ages since doing a meditation before work), and just had the most delightful, energy filled day. I'd say today (Thursday) was an average of the two.

But it was enjoyable & interesting having the juxtaposition of the "piss in your pants" Tuesday and the "blue skys are smiling at me" Wednesday. It really illustrates how it's not the situation so much as your attitude that effects your day. Of course it may have also been a nudge to get me to meditate more regularly.

I don't want to say that meditating "cures" things like lousy days. For me, though, it connects me with the things that are truly important and real in this world. Those things are love, light and peace (the latter two being products of the former in my opinion). When love, light and peace are propped up against paper work, office space and phone calls, then those last three things become totally manageable.

My world expands from being this microcosm of uncomfortable office chair and terrible lighting to an ever-expansive universe of possibilities, hope and creation.

As of today, the goal my husband and I had of paying off two HUGE credits cards was realized. It was the reason I took on this job, and we have stayed true to our intentions. I'm still not totally believing it quite yet. It's like a yoke has been taken off my neck, but I still feel its soreness. When we don't have to pay those credit cards next month is when it'll probably kick in :)

And yes, I really did leave my coat in Bodega Bay (super lovely, awesome, every-positive-word-in-the-thesaurus weekend getaway!) That's what happens when you use the hotel closet when you usually throw your coat on the floor or on a chair ;)

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