Friday, August 28, 2009

A Partner In Crime

So now for some fun stuff. After being mopey yesterday about my husband not responding to my experience I went and played with meditating with crystals. It was a cool introduction. I started off with a smokey quartz placed over my first chakra and meditated, focused allowing myself to feel the crystal's energy. When I was ready I took that one off and put a citrine quartz on my second chakra, repeat; lapis on my fifth chakra, repeat; amethyst on my sixth chakra, repeat; clear quartz on my 7th chakra. I skipped my third and fourth since I don't have corresponding stones at the moment.

I could definitely tell the difference between the crystals. Smokey was heavy, denser, more mellow. The higher up the chakras I get, the lighter and quicker their energy felt. I enjoyed the first and fifth ones the best. Fifth was akin to floating on a cloud.

I tried meditating with Smokey on my first and the clear quartz on my fifth. It was interesting to feel the difference at the same time.

During these meditations though it came to me that I should invite Aaron to join me in my experiments. As I reflected on it, I felt that he really would enjoy doing the crystal meditations and the channel breathing.

So after work I asked him if he wanted to join me in such things; he said yes! So he did the crystal meditations that evening and enjoyed it like I thought he would. Tonight he's going to try the channel breathing.

I'm always happy to have him join me which so happen to alleviate my mopiness on that topic. Lately he's been stretched thin with getting the new job, moving, and other things, so I think he appreciated me asking since otherwise it would have taken a while before he forced himself to take some break from all his web developing.

What A Morning!

For the past two weeks there has been lingering issues between my husband and his former employer, mainly that the latter has yet to pay my husband his final check. In our state it is required for the employee to be given their final pay on their last day of work if 72 hours notice has been given, which it was. Neither my husband nor his former employer knew this at the time. A week later when he still hadn't gotten paid I began wondering what the law was, and dug up that nugget.

This week the former employer has been saying he's working on it, then said he would do direct deposit and that it should go through on a certain day. Well that day passes and still no pay. Then the employer starts saying it actually can take up to 3 days for it to go through, claiming it should be in our account by Monday the latest. This doesn't match up to when he said he processed the check but whatever.

My husband and I are very frustrated by this. I keep pressuring my husband to threaten legal action (and take it) since legally he's supposed to be paid for the days after his final check is due if he still hasn't received it. He's more concerned with actually getting the check (as was I in the beginning) and believes his boss is childish and ignorant enough to withhold my husband's pay if Aaron threatens such a thing. Plus my husband doesn't believe we have any real chance of getting the money if we take the legal route.

Did I mention we have $5 in our account at the moment, and won't get paid from his new job until Tuesday? Add that to the frustration.

So all this frustration and disagreement came to a crash this morning while I was walking with my husband to his new job. It escalated to the point where I started crying and saying I wouldn't say anything more about it. Hugged, kissed, left.

My husband sent me a few text messages apologizing for how he acted (not what he said, just how), but also agreeing with me on some things. Although I really appreciated these gestures (and I sent him my white flag as well), my mind was still stuck in its Oh Woe Is Me setting.

I was feeling mopey and crying until I got near home, and switched over to just being mopey. I bet I even looked real mopey. Then going down the last street until our apartment, a woman smiled at me and said, "Good morning." That in itself was a miracle since I'm sure I was the most uninviting looking person to say good morning too. It made me feel a little better. Then not too much further this guy sitting at the waiting bench in from of (what I believe is) an assisted living complex said, "Good morning" too and asked how I was doing. I said, "Okay" in a not so okay tone. He said, "Well, I hope you have a wonderful day!" I genuinely thanked him, and after that told myself I wasn't going to be mopey anymore. I took those two people as a sign that something was telling me to cheer up & get over it, so I am.

So somehow a morning that started off on a lousy foot ended up teaching me a lesson and cheering me up before noon has even approached.

To tie this in with Melissa's Contentment post I will add what I treasure in my life:
  • My willingness to improve my life, even if it's as small as turning my morning around.
  • My husband for his love, his honestly, and his ability to recognize when he was acting jerky and actually apologize for it ;)
  • My husband's new job that has its act totally together, and that starts paying on the 1st!
  • My continued search for truth.
  • That I am open minded enough to experience with things that others may deem as ridiculous like engery work and crystals :)
Feel free to read Melissa's post at The Inspired Room, and add your own list as well :)

Have a Wonderful Day!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

expect nothing

I shared my experience yesterday with my husband and with my mom. Sometimes I do not understand my husband. I told him the whole event and he had nothing to say. Literally. A couple smiles & raised eyebrows, the kind of thing you do when you can think of nothing to say. This shouldn't upset me but it does get under my skin at times. Only when I'm sharing something I find really interesting with him and then I get nothing from him. I know it shouldn't matter what he thinks or how he responds. It just makes me feel really vulnerable and then I start wondering if he thinks I'm crazy, which I know he will say no and maybe get upset I think that. The times I have asked why he hasn't said anything he simply says it's because he has nothing to say & isn't thinking anything. Oh well, another issue I need to work on.

My mom thought it sounded scary and that was pretty much that. I guess if I knew someone who had these different experiences I would be very interested and ask questions and such. But they're not me so I shouldn't expect that. Guess that's what this blog is for.

I picked up some small crystals yesterday. I've been reading this book from the library about crystal energy and healing, so I want to experiment with that. Try tuning in to their energies this afternoon.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009


Okay, so Day 3 of meditating and I have the most "holy shit!" experience yet. It was so powerful and engulfing that I immediately called the Reiki master I'm learning from and my former massage therapy instructor (who is also the intuitive) to share and ask for advice. I'll write it down now lest I forget how powerful it was later on.

I was seated in the poang chair doing some channel breathing. It's just where when you breath in you imagine the light above your head coming down through you body, and when you breath out you imagine the light coming up from the earth to your head. It's to help clear your channel and chakras, something good to do before doing any sort of healing work on someone. I had done this type of breathing a couple times just for a tiny bit (like a minute or two), would start to feel tingley, and then stop. Well this time I decided to stay with it and keep going.

Immediately I start to get that tingley sensation. The more I breath, the strong the sensation becomes. I want to see what will happen if I just stick with it so I continue. Remember when I had my first "holy shit" moment with my first Reiki attunement? Well I start to get the same degree of sensations here, except the more I go, the more intense it becomes. For whatever reason I decide to stand up. Next time I won't only because my feet and lower legs become completely engulfed in the intense, heavy sensations. I personally couldn't feel them. I was afraid I'd fall over but then set that fear aside. The sensations were also very strong at my third chakra, chest, throat and head. Later they become strong on my upper back.

I kept my Love Light Peace mantra going (that's what I usually repeat when I meditate). At one point I thought I should try to say it out loud. That's when I discovered I could barely talk. Really I'd say I couldn't talk. It was so hard to get one word out, and when I did it was with a very deep voice, one that I cannot do voluntarly. In fact I had never heard myself like that before.

I asked myself if I had any messages for me, or any advice. I was basically told to learn, practice and heal. I was told to trust in "it" aka me aka god. There was nothing elaborate shown or said to me.

I decided I wanted to end it. I had been holding my hands over my heart in a prayer position. When I tried to move my arms I realized I couldn't. It was like my upper back was cement. Slowly I extened my arms out like a "T." The sensations were starting to reside though were still very present in/on my head, throat & feet. I started to make circles with my arms, going up over my head and down to my abdomen, asking to be grounded to the earth and grounded to my body. I've never asked that before, but I just thought that would help. I said it with authority too. The sensations lessened a lot, but were still being felt. I next did Reiki on myself, focusing on my 1st chakra to help ground more. That helped my legs a lot. They finally felt inhabited. My eyes and head were still a little zappy though.

Then I just had to talk to someone about it, someone who could help me understand what just happened & give me advice. First I called the Reiki master I learn under, and left a message. Then I called my former instructor. While I was leaving a message with the latter the former called me back. So I quickly ended the message and answered her call.

I relayed what had happened and she was a bit astounded, even more so when she learned I had only been doing it for several minutes or so before I got into that state. She said it sounded like I was in a very deep, altered state; also that I was obviously a clear, powerful channel and that I probably didn't need to do that breathing techniqure to clear my channel the way others need to. We talked about kundalini and how it related to what I felt. She shared some of her experiences and just really helped me. Since I'm a novice without much training in this area we both thought it was a good idea to not do it much until I got more education & training in it. I'd rather focus on the Reiki myself.

I'll probably get a call from my instructor later and it'll be good to get her input too.

So... that's what I did this afternoon. Back to my cheesy Cantonese pop love songs.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009


My renewed spirit wants to get crackin' on my massage therapist hours. I only need about 75 or less more to be certified in my new area (I moved!).

I want to practice more. I have my husband to practice on but would like more people. Must figure something out there.

I want to meditate at least daily again. I did so yesterday and this morning. You wonder how you ever got out of the habit, but it happens. So here I am giving it a renewed effort.

I want to get back in shape. There's a 5k in October that I am striving towards now. Totally doable.

Lastly but most importantly I want to be a shining, peaceful light in this world. I want to help it strive to be everything positive it can be. What I mean is I am a shining, peaceful light. What I want is to be as conscious of this purpose as I can be. For the past several weeks I have been cocooned in anxious wait, hoping and wishing that my husband got the job that he has now landed (hence our move). I let my diet and exercise go to the wayside. I started ignoring myself and focused more on the external. Well that changed yesterday.

Cheers to renewal!

Monday, August 24, 2009


I have been re-inspired today. It started this morning when I walked over to Barnes & Noble to finish reading a chick lit book. After I had done that, I went to the New Age section to read a Brian Weiss book. My step-mother-in-law lent me one of his books which I enjoyed, so I wanted to start reading another. I read the second half of his Same Soul, Many Bodies book. Completely inspiring; completely put me in the most positive, optimistic mindset. A nice way to start my new living in my new location. Then I walked back home and there was a new post in a blog I follow. This is the post, which completely fit in with my newly inspired mindset. I wanted to share it.

Betting on an Invisible Future

Betting on an Invisible Future
As received by Gillian MacBeth-Louthan

You have each walked into a stairway of questing, of questioning, of asking what is the next step of my journey, of my heart, of my mission. You stand at the top of the stairway to heaven, but it does not connect to anything that you can feel or see. Your hearts' desires live above the patterns of the mass consciousness and the mass manifestations. As you reach into your higher heart for higher truths, higher lights and higher loves; you also reach for higher creational abilities. These manifestations live in the invisible. They are visible only in your mind, in your heart and in your dreams. But they are invisible in your physical world.

You are asked to place all of your desires, your wants, and your needs -upon an invisible future. There are so few that truly know without a doubt that the invisible will manifest in accordance with how deeply, how strongly, how powerfully they believe. You cannot see your future because your future does not live here on earth. It has not come as of yet. It has not manifested, you are ahead of your creations. In this there is great frustration, as you feel all alone in your creations. It is like baking a cake from a cake mix box that has no directions on it, putting it into an oven that is invisible and turning on a timer that does not exist.

Each of you holds your personal 'vision in invisibility.' Every great person that has existed on this earth has held the vision in a place of invisibility. First they imagined it, then they embraced it, and then they loved it until the invisible became true. It did not come by some divine decree. It came into manifestation through the hearts, the yearnings and the desires of those that called it into existence.

You are responsible for creating the invisible dream that dwells in your heart. You hold it as one who holds a baby bird in their hands - comforting it, giving it warmth, nurturing it. You are continually birthing what you need, and what you desire. Most people give up before it is manifested -- the very day the birth is to be announced they quit, they stop, and they walk away. They think who will notice? Who will care? Everything of life notices and everything of life cares! All of Earth was ready to welcome in that manifestation that you so lovingly created, and germinated inside of your heart and that you so thoughtlessly aborted before it was birthed.

Trust the seeds that you have planted. You must trust that what your soul yearns for is true and will come forth and be birthed. The Creator does not ever and can not ever hold back from you or sequester something from you. You are given full reign on earth. You are the ones that will birth the future. When you see a need, fill it. At that moment in time the universe is saying to you - "Help me to birth this. Help God to birth it by just holding the vision long enough for it to manifest".

Each of you is asked continually to help birth a better future, a better Earth, just by you're thinking. Hold the vision of goodness for your world - not just your own creations. Whenever you have an opportunity to seed another's thought - give them the gift of what you know to be truth and hope. Hold that gift long enough until it is birthed. Do not ever give up on it. The Creator, the Source has never given up on you. Do not give up on others. Do not laugh at their dreams or toss their dreams to the wind because sometimes a person's dreams is all that they have to live for. Help to birth the dreams, the desires, and the invisible into the visible.

Gillian MacBeth-Louthan | PO box 217 | Dandridge, Tennessee 37725-0217 | Spiritual Tools for Accelerated Transformation | | *

Friday, August 7, 2009

This sounds cool

Foundations of Acupressure. Sep 12, 2009
125 hours

Acupressure is an ancient healing art which uses the same theory and points as Acupuncture, utilizing fingertips rather than needles. This class combines learning the theory of Traditional Chinese Medicine and Qi Gong movements with the study of Acupressure. The focus will be on the history, philosophy, scientific studies and practical applications of acupressure.
  • You will learn to utilize specific points on yourself and others to improve:vitality , reduce fatigue, releive neck and shoulder tension and basic tuina massage for relaxation.
  • Included in this Foundations class are study and learn:
  • Meridian body clock
  • 100 + points, location, function, combination, uses
  • Assessments through pulse, tongue, face reading, palpitation, asking questions...
  • Basic 5 Elements
  • Anatomy - internal organs, skeletal structure
  • Qi Gong - Eight Pieces of Brocade
  • Hands-on supervised practice every day of this course
Hopefully I'll get to take it soon.